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Attachment Styles Part II

Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style

These are people that generally avoid relationships and any closeness. avoiding them and staying aloof. They can be seen with traits like:

  • Preferring to stay emotionally detached from others.

  • Not Open to being vulnerable or disclosing personal authentic feelings.

  • Prefers space and boundaries from people.

Ron Swanson Ron, throughout the series, can be seen as a staunch, aloof person who does not look out to have or form any kind of personalized relationships with people. He actively keeps his privacy and prides himself in having a quiet life. He does not entertain people who attempt to be close to him as well. As the series progresses, he develops a close relationship with Leslie and April while being open to listening to other people’s issues and helping them like Tom, Ann and Andy. He was even able to build and develop a close and trusting relationship with Diane lewis honestly and openly, without masking it. Barney Stinson Barney, an infamous womanizer, chooses to reveal as much about himself as possible. While he did a lot of talking, it was rarely anything personal or from his heart. He did not like getting emotionally vulnerable and maintained his distance from everyone, including his friends. He did not openly express his feelings to anyone until he fell in love with Robin. We see a development in his character, where he becomes open to telling how much he loves her. We also see towards the end of the series that he begins to unconditionally express his love to his daughter.

Rosa Diaz At the beginning of Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Rosa is a mysterious hardcore person who chose to keep herself distant and is untrusting of people with her details. She chose to keep things private and a persona of being serious with no feelings. Across her character arc, although she remains closed, she becomes more expressive and open to her adopted family, the squad. She forms a close bond with them, learning to be loved and show love without getting uncomfortable. Sheldon Cooper An eccentric scientist and pop culture geek was incapable of expressing and accepting the expressions of feelings. He dismissed them as a pointless expedite of life, that one can be without it. He did not care to get in touch with his feelings or to understand them. He pushed his needs over others’ and was enabled by the people around him. After Penny, and later Amy entered his life, he learnt to accommodate others’ needs into his and that the expression of affection and any feeling is healthy and okay- to the point he reflected it in his Nobel Prize acceptance speech that moved us all into tears. Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style These people desire closeness and attachment but push people away out of fear of being hurt. They can be seen with characteristics like:

  • Preference to get close, but does so only after they will be reciprocation.

  • Open to being emotionally vulnerable, but uncomfortable, may often reflexively push people away.

  • Appears to tolerate space and boundaries, but distance themself out of fear.

Harvey Specter Though charming and easy-going with a hard-headed approach to life, Harvey Spectre maintained unsuccessful relationships with people. He had difficulty opening up to the people around him even though he wanted to. He would get cold feet at the last minute and resort to witty quips and remarks, coming off as charming but maintaining a superficial closeness. He was unable to express his gratitude or appreciation to his assistant Donna, with whom he shared a special connection. She had to reach out and try to read what was going on inside, as he was not open about it. This complexness eventually dissolves as he finally chooses to reveal his heart and overcome his fear of not being reciprocated with Donna, developing a secure relationship in the final season of the series.

Maeve Wiley Maeve Wiley, growing up had a troubled childhood and emotionally inconsistent mother and absent father. She learnt to become mistrustful and distant from people, with the belief that they all will eventually leave her, hurting her even more. In her first onscreen relationship with Jackson, we see her show her fear of getting hurt- she wouldn’t actively choose to ask to make her relationship public. She ghosted him during the family dinner out of fear he would leave her imperfect self. This is seen across her friendship with Amy and Otis, her relationship with her sister’s foster parent, refusing to ask for help and getting uncomfortable when she is given it. She eventually finds a secure relationship with Otis being open to being helped and shown love. Dr House House remains relatively aloof with people around him, refusing to admit his true feelings or express them. He is unable to hold on to friendships or develop them as he constantly oversteps his boundaries, and forces people to leave him- confirming his belief that they will leave him eventually. In the last few seasons, he begins to explore himself with his therapist, get more in touch with his inner self, and be open to making the first move of expressing himself in a conversation. Although it is hard, we see that he becomes open to it when his closest friend, Wilson is diagnosed with cancer. He starts to understand the importance of expressing himself and forming connections despite the probability of them breaking. Loki Loki, the adopted brother of Thor, was always resentful of his inheritance. He would constantly do things to disrupt his relationship with his parents and brother- holding that he did not feel any attachment to his family- It was an attempt to make his fear that people will leave him come true. However, We saw repeatedly that he came to Thor’s rescue and fell in love with Sylvie in the Marvel series 'Loki'. His character began to accept that openly showing and being vulnerable, though scary, is okay.

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